Consistently utilizing the BIFF method ensures you model acceptable behavior, thus beautifully documenting the failures and narcissist rage. Responding to hostilities in a decent way is challenging. That is okay, because a majority of their hate filled and angry messages, do not require any reply at all. You will undoubtedly receive a lengthy, and unnecessary rebuttle to any and every response, because you already know, the narcissist must have the last word, always. End the conversation in a calm and polite manner. It makes employees nervous, but the manger can also dislike the prospect of offering negative feedback. Experts agree that an annual performance review of employees is the worst way to surprise employees with negative feedback.

No need to be harsh, just avoid saying anything that may invite further hostile comments as it offers them narcissistic supply. Feedback methods work best when they are a continuous process, rather than a once or twice-yearly formal session. End the conversation before saying anything that’s unkind and mean, (don’t take the bait). Don’t argue, opine, emote, or defend yourself. Focus on the straight delivery of information. Don’t write a 10-page letter saying how much you used to love the person or tell them how. It doesn’t need to be something too involved, just enough to keep the hostilities from surging further and getting out of control. So, what is the BIFF Response Method Keep communications BRIEF. Third, add in a friendly greeting or closing, such as “hello”, “thank you”, “have a great day”, etc. Remember, there’s no need to try and defend yourself when it’s someone else who’s being hostile. The website and book will give you the method essentials, so check them out if you haven’t already. Second, whatever you’re saying make sure it’s factual information rather than an emotional reaction, opinion, or argumentative response. The BIFF Response® Method helps you get it under control.

Doing so would leave the next person with much less to react to and the conversation wouldn’t be prolonged unnecessarily. Firm (stick to the topic, only, not their bait loaded diatribe)įirst, make sure your replies, whether written or verbal, are brief.Friendly (start with “Hello” and close with “Have a Great Day”).Informative (skip over their insults and paragraphs of projection) The BIFF communication technique protects your reputation and reduces conflict when high-conflict people attack via email, social media and.BIFF stands for: Brief – Informative – Friendly – Firm. WritableSheetImpl.getRowRecord (Showing top 16 results out of 315) WritableSheetImpl getRowRecord. But, what’s the best way to react? Would ignoring the comments or confronting aggressively put an end to the hostilities? Would you feel better after going through an emotional explosion? Or should you just turn a deaf ear to such statements?īIFF is the technique you should go for! What’s the BIFF Response?Ī BIFF response can help contain the hostility directed towards you (and any and all family members they can put down, when you don’t take the bait of their last message), while at the same time leaving you feeling better about yourself. You’d either feel too drained to respond, or extremely angry towards the other person. A single hostile email, text, or an unkind comment can leave you feeling vulnerable, emotionally overwhelmed, and at the verge of breaking down.

Biff method